May 14 2007 Kearney to North Platte

May 14 2007

Around six I get up and think about breakfast. There is a continental breakfast over by the lobby. I pack up some of the clothes that I washed out and start to pack up my bike.

For some reason, I seem to be worn out. Things are taking me a long time because I seem to be moving slowly. There isn’t really a reason for me to be worn out. I find it frustrating. I almost seem to think I am losing time, but I don’t feel ill. Losing time, not knowing where it goes is often an early symptom that means that I need to take it easy, to rest.

I’ll try to do that later in the week.

This morning, my body still seems to be dehydrated as I am craving water. I try to drink as much as I can, but don’t seem to have much caffeine available that will sit well on my stomach.

An hour later I am still packing up my bike and once again, like yesterday, things are not going well. The weight is off, but it is time to go. I carefully ride off after asking directions.

The people at the front desk could only tell me where the campus is and I am unable to mapquest the Drake Theatre. It is not in the telephone book, at least not where I am looking. I just have UNK Drake theatre.

I drive around on the campus and ask a couple of people where Drake theatre is and they don’t know. Ahh, I see a sign for student services.

When I ask, they tell me that I am very close. To walk across the parking lot and go in the fine arts building. (Actually, that was kind of what I was looking for, but managed to drive by it and not see the huge words on the side of the building so near to me.)

I go in and ask about a projector. I am more than able to give the presentation without a projector, but when people can follow along and read supporting documentation, it is easier for those people to remember the main points.

The presentation goes well, but my tongue trips a couple of times like my brain isn’t as closely connected or as sharp as I desire. Not unusual when I haven’t had enough caffeine, but I decide to relax as soon as I get to the hotel later today in North Platte as a preventative measure.

I eat lunch with Cheryl, Linda and Tammy. Cheryl mentions eating outside, but I am trying to avoid extra outdoor exposure when I have no sunscreen or lotion on. I am catching the beginning of a lot of sunburns that my body doesn’t seem to be adjusting to. It isn’t like my tan is helping me with a base layer, I guess is the way to describe what is happening. We eat inside.

As I am readjusting the load on my bike a man from Australia conducting a survey on the way mid America views god or God, however you believe it. He asks me,

“What one question would you ask God if you could ask him one question?”

Ahh, that fundamental Christian background. I try to tell him that I don’t believe that way, that the question doesn’t work well with my spiritual beliefs, but he doesn’t understand. I tell him again that I don’t really have any questions.

He really doesn’t understand and feels that with my belief system that I could go out and kill people if I changed my mind. So not true.

If I believe that my true job on earth is to

1. Find great happiness, peace and joy and then to
2. Help others find happiness, peace and joy

Then somehow I don’t think that I could just change my mind about what I believe and go out and kill people. How does that respect someone’s inner spirit?

People once again tell me that there is nothing much to see on route 30, but I find things to look at. There is the place where the persons house has decayed so much that they can’t live in it anymore so he has placed a tiny trailer next to it and is living in there.

There is the town that has nothing but huge tanks next to the railroad tracks that look to be filled with fertilizer. And all the stores across the road are boarded up, no one lives there on the main drag. And I have to wonder why there is no one. Is it because of fumes, of people who can’t afford to survive, or do people have what is called cancer clusters here?

There is lots to see.

I really enjoy the ride. The wind is reasonable, enough to keep me cool and keep the bugs off, but not enough to make me ride on the outside of my tires.

When I check in to the Holiday Inn Express, I find out there are the standard free beer and hors from 5-7, there are cookies and milk from eight until nine and that the swimming pool and hot tub are open 24 hours a day. I tell them that “I love you guys.” And I get two nights here, how cool is that?

Because of the chronic pain that seems to accompany me, the hot tub right before I get to sleep really helps me sleep better and longer. At the same time, going in before 11 doesn’t always work. If I don’t get to sleep right away the effect wears off. I am often unable to get to sleep before midnight and the tightness and pain have often returned by then.

I go upstairs, fall asleep for a few hours and then go downstairs. I don’t avail myself of the free beer, but enjoy the food.

Happy Trails, marty

May 13, 2007 on the road to kearney

May 13 2007

Today I got up and tried to get moving. Why is that almost always next to impossible?

Ginny drops by as she has a check for the hotel and needs the bill before she can pay it. She is much more of a morning person than I am so she is there way before I am ready to leave.

I had hoped to go to church, but instead end up missing it. The hotel had put me on the side of the building that was in the sun and my brains seemed somewhat scrambled as I tried to load up my bike. When I went to back out of the parking space, I realized that my load wasn’t as balanced as I like so I drove around the building to find some shade.

Then I pulled the front bag off my bike, repacked it and tried a slight test drive. I had missed church, but was still near Barnes and Noble. I thought about heading on over, but realized that the whole day might pass if I started another book.

Instead, I drop by J. Rocks house to give her the t-shirt and some CDs. We sit and talk for a while, then I climb on my bike and head over to Kearney which is pronounced Car.Knee. Nebraska is an interesting state in that there are many places where the name of the town isn’t spelled the way that you say it.

The ride was nice except for the wind. I don’t think that I had much wear on anything except the sides and edge of my tires. I decided to take the back roads, Routes 34 and 30 into Kearney.

When I check in there is a gift basket waiting for me to help me feel welcome. I dig in as it is mother’s day and I want to return to Skeeter Barnes to eat dinner. Wanting to avoid the crowd, I call to find out what hours they are open.

The Ramada Inn has a laundry machine, but it is not in my building and I seem to be exhausted. I wash out some of my clothes so I will look decent tomorrow; put them in front of the heater and head on out to eat.

The food was great, but as I ate it, all I could think about was about how food is harvested in our country. I keep getting told that there is nothing to see when you take the back roads, but there is; rural America is out there. If you look, riding on almost any rural highway will really show the decaying of America.

Towns where the local gas station is also the local restaurant. The stores where many shop are in the bigger towns and even when there is a small store, it is filled with junk food; very little of the food available has any nutritional value. There are the requisite Little Debbie’s, Hostess, Hershey, etc, but little more. The cleaning supplies are targeted to those driving through. It can even be tough to pick up a staple like Duct Tape.

Denni and I once talked about a town in our community where the only sit down restaurant available was a McDonalds and how it impacted the community. If you wanted to eat out, you had to drive to another town to get food with any “food value” whatsoever.

I get to bed as early as I can get to sleep as I need to get up and pack up before I can head over to the college. Sometimes I can negotiate a late check out that doesn’t cost the sponsoring organization any money, but this hotel had a big sign that stated, anyone staying over for a late check out would be charged $20, but anyone who was still in their room after 1 would be charged the full room rate.

I debate about picking up the $20 charge so I won’t get sweaty, but decide that I can’t make it back before one, so I give up on the idea and decide to go to bed.

Happy trails, Marty

May 12, 2007 Lincoln, Numbness when writing

Tonight is my last night in Lincoln. I am going to be sorry to leave here.

But first, I am to present at a biker breakfast. To be honest, I am not sure what to expect.

The biker breakfast is scheduled to start at 8AM. I am having a terrible time waking up and getting moving. I got up early and started my routine of what I need to do to wake up, but it is not working. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get my head to work the way I want it to.

One thing I am having trouble with is that when I make notes, or write, my hands and arms fall asleep. It doesn’t happen when I keyboard and I try not to make notes very often, but this morning I know that I am presenting without a projector or computer. And my morning started out at five, with my trying to make notes, figure out how to best do the presentation in an outdoor setting, thinking through my options and my trying to wake myself up.

The numbness that I get when writing is starting to scare me a lot. When I write presentations, I first like to do things in longhand, and then transfer them to computer. I also try to draft other things by hand. It helps me slow my brain down to where I can think things through.

The numbness doesn’t happen when I ride my motorcycle either. We know what it isn’t, but don’t know what it is. The feeling takes longer to leave than it has before and once again I am late.

The presentation goes well. The breakfast is great, it is all consumers and they feel free to get up, wander around and smoke if they need to while still being able to listen. I miss those days.

J. Rock and I ran around the rest of the day, we went shopping in a thrift store, and checked out the state capitol until it was time for the party to start. I trade in my boots for sandals, grab my backpack and we head out for the party with our driver, Robert.

The party was awesome. There were a lot of really neat people. I wish that I hadn’t had to get up at five so that I could have gotten to get to know more of them. I really enjoyed myself. I even sat, listened to more great live music and thought about just how much my social skills have improved.

I hope that some time in the future, I can meet some of them again. There were people that I would have loved to talk to away from the music. I took my hearing aids, but with the background music happening the way it was, I couldn’t use them.

The party was held in a house that used to be a barn. It was such a wonderfully awesome house. It was unique, the materials used were recycled, it was all natural wood, the view of the Nebraska Capitol from one of their windows was amazing. There were conversation nooks everywhere, a great kitchen, lofts, that overlooked all the floors and the view.

Holy cow, what a great place. We moved from person to person, conversation to conversation. It was a good time, good conversation, great music and people that I wish I had the opportunity to talk to more. I don’t think that life can get any better than that.

Tomorrow I am off to enjoy the ride to Kearney.

May 11, 2007 Lincoln Day 2 and really great falafel

I get up around 6 and start trying to wake up. It is a tough job this morning. I am not as coherent as usual and in the mornings things are bad anyway. I drink some water and then drink some caffeine. I take some meds and eat some organic veggies.

Ginny is coming to pick me up at nine so around eight, I head over to the restaurant. The continental breakfast is too continental for me. There is too much white bread and sugary stuff for a morning that I need to have accurate lucidity, so I order breakfast.

I order eggs over easy, sausage and hash browns. It comes with a choice of whole wheat or white toast. When it came I realized that I should have asked more questions. The hash browns came out of a bag straight from the freezer, and the whole-wheat toast wasn’t anything like what I think whole-wheat toast should be like. To me it was pretty gross. I ate it, I needed the protein for my brain.

I leave the restaurant, find a bench outside and sit down to wait for Ginny to come by. The air is fresh and the day is beautiful.

We head over to the capitol so I can talk to the senators. I really enjoyed the presentation. It wasn’t working well, the way we thought about doing it, so I changed it up, asked for questions and just worked my way through the time by answering questions using examples from my life’s experiences. I think that it worked well.

One person brought up how excited they were that there is new imaging that proves that we need treatments that will target that part of the brain. This always makes me incredibly nervous as I immediately think of the fact that this was the purpose of lobotomies. They also bill ECT that way.

I had some better tasting fruit salad and we moved over to the Region 5 where I had the wonderful opportunity to present again. A wonderful woman helped me set up the projector. There were a lot of family members, professionals and a few consumers. I think that things went well.

The food was alternative, tuna in tomatoes, cheeses, bottled water from Frontier Harley Davidson, and some chips.

I started to feel better, so my presentation skills kicked up a notch. Then I sat and talked to the man who does housing about different options and the way that housing worked there. After the presentation and the conversation, I asked to go back to my room to rest for a bit as I needed some downtime.

I was expecting J. Rock to call, but she didn’t. Mixed signals. The nap was awesome, I really needed it. I woke up late, called and then we went out to eat. It was hard for me to get moving. No matter how hard I tried, I felt like my brain was sifting through oatmeal.

The restaurant was called Holyland something or other and had the best falafel that I have ever had. I wish I could go back and get the recipe. It was so awesome. I could eat it four or five times a week and be extremely happy.

Then we headed over to the dance that was scheduled. The live music was so incredibly awesome. I wanted to stay over and attend the Sunday Afternoon Recital that the pianist was giving. His music just so much touched my heart.

To me the music was a pocketful of happiness. The drummer sang “Georgia On My Mind” and it was wonderful. So were the trumpet and the sax player. And a stand up bass player. Mmmm, mmmmm. Mmmmmm.

I gave J. Rock a ride back to her place and told her that I would pick her up in the morning. She told me about a party that we could attend tomorrow night. Hey, cool. Works for me.

May 10, 2007 Lincoln and a different bookstore

I get up around nine and head down to breakfast. This Holiday Inn Express in Norfolk has one of the best breakfasts around in this hotel chain. At least that is true in my humble opinion. The people who staff the breakfast (and the person who staffs the nightly snacks) are absolutely awesome.

I finish reading the novel that I have started and pack my bike. It is around eleven before I am ready to leave. I am so ready to have a great ride. I try packing my bike different and I like it a little bit better, but the load still needs to be back farther.

I like to pack the tent, the back duffle, which is full of my camping equipment; (stove, propane, food, sleeping bag, and lantern), then the side bags which right now are full of books and then the front duffle. The front duffle has a lot of what I need in the mornings (clothes, shampoo, my computer) which means that it is heavy and needs to ride square on the back seat.

I think about dropping by Hastings one more time, but decide against it. I really miss J. Rock and want to drop by and see her.

The ride is perfect. Beautiful weather, back roads, etc. I kick back and enjoy it all. When I get to the hotel, I see that it is next to a Barnes and Noble. What a joy. How cool is that? I call J. Rock and find out that she doesn’t have a car.

I ask her if she knows someone that she can borrow a helmet from. She thinks so and starts to call around. After a bit she calls back and tells me that she can borrow a helmet, but it will be tomorrow before she can get it. I tell her that we need to do dinner tomorrow, but that I can handle going to spend some time at Barnes and Noble.

I get a sandwich as it has been hours since I eat, find the book that I was in the middle of reading at Hastings and read some more. Let’s face it, even though I could afford another book money wise, I couldn’t afford it space and weight wise. So I read and devour as much as possible. I am looking at natural healing, pesticide and growth hormone use, and other toxic chemicals and how they might affect our bodies, both mentally and physically. I am in Lincoln for four nights, and I hope to make it back. I don’t, but have a great time doing other things.

I get to bed as early as I can as I have to present to a senator, or two, (or more) in the morning.

Happy Trails, Marty

May 9, 2007 Norfolk and I am next to a bookstore--whoohoo

Nebraska’s Mental Health seems to be divided into six regions. Yesterday’s presentation was in Region 6.

Today’s presentation is in Region 4. This region has a lot of rural areas that I have to wonder how people manage to get services. They have to drive a county away from what I understand and their counties sound like they are pretty large.

I understand the problems that distance from a provider can cause. My VA Healthcare Facility was about 70 miles away from me. They offered me groups and more, but I was so not able to drive 140 miles once or twice a week to get therapy.

I chose to pay a therapist in my community. There was a jackass of a community mental health system in my community and from what I understand, if you sell your soul to them, they will teach you about recovery and if you don’t sell your soul to them you are still screwed, blued and tattooed. They just don’t believe in getting you into a solid recovery—they only care about their money.

I don’t get that feeling here, but then, I don’t see services in some of the counties, either.
Anyway, today’s presentation is in Region 4. And I am enjoying it. People seemed to enjoy the presentation and I love interacting with the people who chose to attend. I wish there could have been more, but it is a rural region. I really enjoyed getting to meet other people who happen to have a mental illness who are working on their recovery.

On my way to the presentation, I see that the hotel is next to a Hastings Bookstore. I am so in heaven. I go and sit and read for about three hours and buy three books. (I am traveling by motorcycle, what am I thinking? I just picked up four books yesterday at Goodwill Thrift Store.) Then I go back and read for another couple of hours.

There is a bookstore here. I don’t even need the hors deovers and the free beer. I don’t need to eat supper. I am ready to read, and read, and read. I read two of the books that I bought before I go to bed. I have my priorities straight. LOL

I really like the Hastings bookstore. They have used books. They buy used books at good prices. It is great.

For a long time, when I was ill, I couldn’t read. I felt like my soul had betrayed me, as I have always loved to read. I used to listen to audio books when I couldn’t read, but would often need to listen to them three or four times if it was a book that I was trying to learn from.

Tomorrow I need to get up and head to Lincoln, Nebraska. It looks like it will be a great day for a ride on my motorcycle. I am so looking forwards to it.

Happy Trails, Marty

May 8, 2007 Omaha, Packing Problems due to mornings

May 8 07

Today I am going to present at the Allegant Hospital in Omaha. I get up nervous and uptight. It is hard to get up, pack my stuff on the bike, strap it all down, save out what I need for a presentation and then get to the place thirty minutes ahead of time to set up.

I was supposed to meet people for breakfast, I really, really wanted to go, but wasn’t able to get moving.

It is hard, really hard for me to pack and move before ten in the morning. For most of my life, I have been the person who only wakes up around 10AM. I am fully functioning around 10:20.

Here, the presentation is supposed to start at 10AM.

I find the hospital around 9:30, which makes me uptight. The setup is making me nervous. I find the education wing and walk in. I don’t see anyone or anything familiar. I do see other people seeking the same place I am.

I ask a lady for directions, a house phone, a receptionist. She asks me where I need to go. I told her that I didn’t know. She was a total asshole. She said, if you don’t know where you are to go, then I can’t help you (yep, you know the voice and tone) and ignored me when I asked where a receptionist or a house phone might be.

I walk back outside and think about my surroundings and feel the minutes ticking away. I don’t feel good about the part that they can’t start without me.

I see a sign for valet service and realize that would mean a main entrance. I head over to it and ask the receptionist. She says that she doesn’t know where the meeting is being held. As I am breathing deep and trying to call Ken again, another lady says, “I know where you need to get to” and points out the way when she realizes that the name of the building means nothing to me. It is across the road.

I see a trail of people starting over walking, but I decide to hop back on my bike and take it over. When I do head over with my bike, people realize that I am the speaker and that I have been following their van for quite a while.

I am relieved to find the room and get set up. The people seemed to enjoy my presentation. I have started telling part of my story that often doesn’t get told and use it as examples when I present. The presentation is working its way out. I like it and agree to send handouts to people at the end of the Nebraska presentations.

Some NAMI people and I share lunch together. It is a beautiful day to ride my Vulcan. I kick back, enjoying the ride to Norfolk, which is said Norfork. (Long sad story about a government clerk that thought the people who sent in the application had to be mistaken)

I find the hotel around 6:15. It is a Holiday Inn Express. The desk clerk says “We have free beer and free hors derves until 7PM. It’s amazing. Unpacking my Vulcan suddenly got a whole lot easier. LOL

There’s a washing machine near my room. Good, I can present the next day with no bug guts on my clothes. Grin.

Happy Trails, Marty

May 7, 2007 Omaha, dinner, shopping for black jeans

May 7, 2007

Today, I try to get up and find a new pair of black jeans. All the clothes that I started out with have gotten a lot of hard wear and some weren’t in the best shape to begin with. And some are still soaked. My options for today are pretty limited.

I can’t find the place that I am looking for. Since I have started out early, I enjoy the unscheduled detour ;) and check out the area around where I am headed. It is full of small enterprise. It is another town where all the big business has moved out. Is big business all that this country lives for?

I think some about this concept as I call Ken. I find that I am across the street from the building and have written the address down wrong. Thank God there are cell phones. I attend the meeting with the Nebraska Consumer Regional Leaders in my old jeans, looking scruffy. I think about finding jeans for the presentation tomorrow.

It was great to attend the meeting. I don’t always have the chance to network with other consumers who are in leadership positions. They talk about how they are implementing WRAP across the state. It is definitely a move in the right direction. I still find myself wishing that there was more. Way, way more.

I enjoy everyone that I met in the meeting. They are a great group of people who’s hearts are in the right place. Many are new in their jobs. One person has been in her job about two weeks. That is new.

Later on the regional specialists who live too far away to make it home, Ken and I all go out to dinner at Applebees. I find out that we were all in the same hotel last night. Darn, I wish that I would have known. I would have been thrilled to have been able to spend more time with them.

Later after dinner, I ask them if they would mind shopping. We head over to a mall that is close. (Way easier to find things with them, LOL) I find a pair of black jeans in JC Penney, a place that I seldom shop. I like them but check all over the mall to see if there are any jeans that I might like better. I end up shopping in JC Penney. ;)

People ask me why black. It just doesn’t show the dirt as easily as many of the other options. Anything goes well with black. It always looks good. It makes me look slimmer. Grin

On the other hand, what it does show is bug guts. Yuck. If I have to pack up and leave the hotel in the morning before I present, I can’t get to my clothes to change them and I end up wearing the clothes that I present in as I ride down the road. It does seem to make people think twice, though. A lady in a dusty rose ruffled shirt with a fancy vest riding down the road with full packs. I like it. I like the shirt. I like the vest. I like feeling I have when I wear pink and black.

Happy Trails, Marty

May 6, 2007 Drenched trip into Omaha

May 6, 2007

Today I lay around when I woke up and listened to the rain. And listened to the rain. And listened to the rain. Tomorrow I have to be in Omaha.

The bad thing about packing up a tent in the rain when one is riding a motorcycle is that there is no place to put stuff to keep it dry. I pack everything in waterproof bags, but the tent, my sleeping bag and a few other things including the seat on my motorcycle get totally soaked. It is hard to keep my clothes dry.

I get up, start to pack while it is still sprinkling. Then, it starts to pour. I pull on the pants to my rain gear but the rain still pours in whenever I have to bend over to reach down to stuff my tent in the bag or pull out the tent stakes. I think about putting on the jacket to my rain gear, but rain gear is a mixed blessing. I can smolder inside the rain gear, get overheated and become drenched by my sweat, or I can become drenched by the rain.

I decide to be drenched by the rain, pull out a dry shirt and jacket to travel in, put them in a plastic shopping bag and keep on packing up.

About the time I finish packing up, the rain starts to slow down. By the time that I get on my dry shirt and my rain jacket, it is pouring once again. I have to wait a bit to start as it is raining too hard for me to ride and be able to see.

The rains coming across Kansas last night were vicious and I am going to end up catching some of them. As I head out to St. Josephs, Missouri, it is hard to see. The rain is stinging my cheeks as I slowly head down the road. Even the cars are going slowly. I stop and get some gas in St. Joseph and continue to head up towards Omaha.

A little north of St. Josephs, the rain slows some but the sky still looks alarming and while my body is not totally soaked, the rain is still running out of my boots and drenches the floor around me as I sit in McDonalds and grab a burger. I call a friend in Lincoln, NE and ask her if it is raining. She says yes. I decide to stop and relax and drip some more. After all, it sounds like rain all the way. I might as well take my time.

Instead, as I am leaving the restaurant in Mound City, Missouri, it looks like I am going to be able to catch a break. The rain is abating and judging by the cloud cover, if I travel fast, I will be able to beat some of the rain. I flex my shoulders and get ready to hurtle down the road, once I hit some dry pavement.

A little south of Omaha, I pull off my rain jacket and put it under the cargo nets that hold some of the loose gear to my bike. How absolutely awesome. I pull out the directions to the first hotel and find out about some camping areas for later on in the month.
I check in the hotel and spread out my gear to dry. The newer Holiday Inn Expresses have washers and dryers. The older more formal Holiday Inn’s often don’t have this feature. I can’t find a washer and dryer at this Holiday Inn. The parking is really crowded here, there definitely isn’t enough. I think about parking on the sidewalk, but find a parking space and decide to take it as I can see my bike from my room.

I fall into bed for a couple of hours, riding in the rain, trying to see is harder than regular riding. Later I get up and go eat in the restaurant.

Happy Trails, Marty

May 5, 2007

I got up late. I seem to need to sleep in a lot these days. It has a lot to do with stress.

After looking at the maps last night and running the weather to check for rain and storms I decided to move over to the Missouri Lewis and Clark State Park. There were a lot of sites vacant, probably due to the rains that are due in tonight.

There is no way that I am going to be able to entirely miss the rain, but by planning my moves, I can try to minimize it. Here’s to hoping that I can outsmart or outrun the weather. Running the weather on the Internet helps, but a lot depends upon how savvy I am about reading how the clouds work and where the road heads into the clouds. Fogg Toggs rain gear is great.

The ride over to Lewis and Clark was short and kind of funny. I tried to follow my map. I got off at the exit that it showed would lead to an access road that would lead to my destination. No, really, I do know how to read a map.

When I first got off, there was a restaurant that had a couple of nice ass Harleys sitting right by the door. I hoped to meet them and talk as it looked like a couple. They happened to come out just as I was going in. We started to talk and I found out that they didn’t do much traveling but hoped to do more in the future.

There are a lot of people who buy a Harley and do some weekend riding. Right now I am glad that I have decided to travel even if it means being on a cheaper bike. I like my Vulcan. It rides and moves out great. It is easy to handle. I do wish that I had a bit more room on it. <grin>

I went in the restaurant to eat, came out, strapped on my helmet, eyed the road, thought about asking for directions--then said to myself, the map shows a road that goes through.

Well, the road did go through, but not to where (and how) it said. The pavement ended and I ended up on gravel. The scenery was spectacular, but I don’t really like to ride on gravel. I have had a couple of bad experiences with it while doing bicycle riding. Gravel is how I broke my teeth in the third grade. LOL

I carefully rode through the gravel (beautiful day isn't it?)for a mile or two, found another blacktop road, looked around and thought, well this does head in the general direction that I wish to go, put the bike in first and took off.

Went through the town that the park is supposed to be near and didn’t find anything. Now, in a small, rural town, I can easily be the thrill of the day. It is spitting a bit of rain, but not enough that I want to don my rain gear so I get my fair share of allotted, she must be totally nuts looks.

I grab my map, head in the wrong direction and have to turn around and head back again. (Why didn’t I buy that gosh darn bulky WalMart atlas?) I find the sign and the road. Pull in and pick the site.

After I put up my tent and sign in to the campsite I smile and head on over to (front shot of the Lewis and Clark garden by the Museum)

the Museum in Atchison, Kansas. Amelia Earhart grew up in Atchison. Somehow I think that Amelia and I would enjoy each other. She seems to be a really neat person. I don’t get over to her birthplace, but hope to do so in the morning.

In the museum was a great printing press. I would like to have a printing press at some point in my life, one kind of like this one.

There was a neat post about the stuffing of a ballot box in one of the elections. I tried to take a pic of the post, but the exposure in the museum was really terrible. There was a glare from every angle. The post said something that something like over half of the votes cast were illegal votes. That is a lot.

The other thing to do in Atchison has to do with trains, as in the Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe railroad,

I love trains. I enjoy riding them and watching them. My dad had Lionel Trains when I was growing up. We often had a track that we could run them on. In fact, when I left home, the family home gained a train room.

At five, I headed back to the campground, and tried to light a campfire, the wood was damp and it took forever and every skill that I had to start the darn fire. Now smelling like smoke and stinking to high heaven, I cooked some meat on a stick, had some salad and stretched out by the fire.

The noise in the background wasn’t a train, around nine it started to pour, thunder and lightning crashed, and I started to hope that I would stay dry. Let me put it this way- it was a heck of a lot better experience than the one that I had on the Trace. I got some sleep and read a book when it was too loud for me to sleep. I didn’t get soaked, but a lot of my stuff got damp.

Happy Trails, Marty

May 4, 07

It's been a while since I have posted. I have lots of reflections.

On the trip to DC that I posted about, I stayed at a Marriott Hotel. I had some luggage that was going with me over to the office and asked for them to call a taxi. Instead, since the limo was sitting empty, they sent me over in it.

I didn't get a long enough ride, LOL, but it was longer than it was supposed to be as the driver got hopelessly lost, had to backtrack and I sat back listening to the music.

Since I posted last, I used my parents house as a home base, went home, home to see my grandkids for a couple of weeks. Is this the right thing to be doing at this point in their lives? I'm not sure.

The trailer that I bought (My Blue Heaven) is still at my parents house. I have had problems with both a hitch and a liscense plate. Both can be straightened out, but I decided to back off and take a look at the problem from a distance.

Dropped by my brothers house and we had a wonderful chance to talk. We really don't know each other. I left home when he was seven, made my parents upset, was handed several precious antiques to haul around the world with me and toted them to Germany, Oklahoma, Michigan, etc. Now they are in storage. I have been back a couple of times, but because of htings that have happened, haven't had the best relationship.

We talked about our parents. Our lives. That kind of thing.

I started back on the road yesterday. It was sprinkling rain when I left, but by the time I got to Macon, Missouri, it was nothing but sunshine and blue skies. It was a beautiful day to just cruise and that is what I chose to do, riding first through the rocky bluff areas that surround the Mississippi River near where I spent the last six years I was at home, through some flat prairie lands, then on to rolling hills dotted with cows, some sheep, and a few hogs.

I was headed over to Saint Jo, but decided to stop in Cameron. I stopped for gas and decided that it looked like it was a nice little town to stop in. I rode around it for a bit and found a place to stay.

My body is a little stiff this morning as I it has been a while since I rode with a load and I have to get back in shape.

Today is looking like I can't pack my raingear away. Bummer. LOL

I don't mind riding in the rain, but decided to not go with a full face helmet for the summer as it was just too hot. That means that the rain can batter my face a bit if it is falling hard. I can always slow down to lessen the force and sometimes choose to.

I am headed over to Lewis and Clark state park to camp tonight. I will enjoy it greatly.

Happy Trails, Marty

Monday March something or other LOL

I am going to DC if they can find me a place to stay. Sounds good to me. I need some time around people I know, and those people need me to do stuff. A mutually satisfying relationship if things work out. LOL

It's 11AM and I am waiting to hear about the place to stay. I told them that I am going by greyhound and that I am going to do it so I can read a book or two. I have the book by Nora Roberts "Carolina Moon" and I have tried to read it a couple of times, but haven't had the chance to finish it. In fact, I have ended up rereading the same chapter a couple of times so I can remember the nuances. I haven't read any of Nora Roberts Mysteries that she writes under the name of JD Robb, but I think I will enjoy them. Just haven't found the time. Carolina Moon is a mystery/romance at the same time.

I didn't sleep much last night, so I am really going to enjoy the nap on the bus as well. A lot of people like to judge things like whether one thing or one way is better than the other, but I htink that life full of differences that are always interesting and help us grow our lives in different directions. When we avoid experiences and when we judge experiences, we have a tendency to not absorb the nuances. The culture.

Many things/activities have their own cultures. And when we choose to lose out on a cultural experience we lose out on some of the nuances of life.

On busses, you meet interesting people. Many consider it something you do only as a last resort. But on the busses I have met immigrants from Poland, Czech, and learned about their countries, the trouble that they had becoming a professor, even though they had lots of education in thier own countries and how the education systems compare.

I have shared their homemade boxed dinners of native foods (love kolaches, could sell my soul for great apricot kolaches) and I have shared what I have had with them in return. We talk of thier countrys, where are good places to stay that are cheap and place me safely in the culture of a country or neighborhood.

I never really meet people like that in airports. Now, I do when I ride on the trains. On the trains, fewer people have foods that are native to their community's. The more people have money (trains cost more), the farther away they get from (what I can best describe as their roots, I guess). They become americanized, eating the interesting junk food one can purchase on a train. Train food is the type of food that you would find in a vending machine. LOL

But I digress, I am going to DC, on the bus and am going to read a book or two to relax. Who knew a perpetual vacation could be so stressful? grin.

Happy trails, Marty

Sunday March

I am having a problem getting out of Saint Louis. LOL Is that not a familiar problem with me. I am going to end up leaving on Monday. I am going to ride up to my parents house and see about the trailer.

Well, if I don't go to DC first. I need to set up some stuff regarding the volunteer stuff that I do. I have the how to get there, but not the where to stay. LOL I have to call them in the morning.

Sometimes it's hard being the volunteer. LOL

I would enjoy going to DC and making sure that the staff that support the council and I are actually thinking in the same direction.

I have to leave the bike here in STL to go to DC. To do this, I have to find a safe parking place for it. Now, there is a back lot that is for long term parking, but I like where my bike is. It is right by the front door in a front lot in a parking space that isn't (gotta love how small the bike is) where people walk by it daily.

I am not sure when I will be back. I would like to lock up my bags and go out on the town for a night then leave. I miss the night life --well, not really the night life, but the community, the people to talk to.

The hot tub is free once again. LOL On weekends the swimming area is almost always overrun by kids. Especially here. It would be great if they had an hour for adults only. It can be hard to relax in a hot tub when the kids are running in and out and up and down continually jumping in the middle, etc grin.

On the other hand, if my grand kids were here, I would probably be a bit more tolerant.

Happy trails, Marty

Friday March 22, 2007

Well, I got up this early this morning and decided to hit the hot tub. I sat and soaked and thought about just how interesting my life is. From a resort in Texas with two thirty person hot tubs, a full craft area, (ceramics, sewing, woodworking) to Laredo where I hear back about a motorcycle trailer htat I really think I would like, to a couple of dive hotels to a training in a Hilton.

What a wonderful opportunity for contrast. My motorcycle is outside in the lot and I am thinking about going for a ride around the rainshowers.

People ask me if I miss my apartment, my home. Not really. I really, really miss my grandkids. Matt, Boo and Jenny are awesome kids and I can hardly wait until summer when I will have a chance to have them travel with me.

I am really enjoying having another training to do. Some people don't understand how I can like to do trainings so much. I really have no idea. It is something that is ingrained in my soul. I guess.

I like meeting new people and getting the chance to know them better. I like learning about them and then thinking about the impact that people have. Everyone we meet. has an impact on how our life goes on, if we let them have an impact.

I met some more of the new staff supporting the support group program. They are all really neat people. I look forwards to being a part of this movement.

I am trying to get a call set up for Tracy to talk with Michigan. Life's a challenge ;)

Happy trails, Marty

Thursday March 21, 2007

Today I got up and started to pack my back when I got a call. I do get to go to Saint Louis to do the training. Whoohoo. I can't help it. I just like to train.

So I am riding the rest of the way to Saint Louis today. Once again the forcast is for thunderstorms, but by the time I am up and out the door, it doesn't look like that will happen. It is beautiful weather, just beautiful. Perfect riding weather, great temps, etc.

The ride was just great, but when I gassed up at the Flyin J, I saw storm clouds starting to move in. I decided to move on more quickly rather than taking a break that was longer.

I have been asked to post my mileage each day and for the trip. You guys have got to be kidding. I am the one person who does all breaks during a training by saying. "OK, be back when the big hand is on the 10." At first people feel that I am trying to demean them. I always tell them no, really, just because I can read and write doesn't mean that I can tell time. After they are done rolling their eyes and really watch me try to do such a demanding ridiculous task, they begin to realize that it's just not them at all--it truly is me.

Happy Trails, Marty

Wednesday March 20, 2007

Holy cow. It is nearing the end of March already. HOw time flies when I am having fun cruising down the backroads and interstates.

I called Rob to see if we could get together for supper. (For once I checked the mileage first. LOL) It's not that far.

The weather people keep threatening rain, but I am not seeing any. Each day, it is supposed to be pouring and thunderstormy and it hasn't been.

I work some more, laying the groundwork in Michigan for this new initiative. Inching our way. LOL

Today was a great day for riding. Just a kick back and cruise kind of a day. I do look at what type of clouds I am driving into, but no damp weather has happened as of yet. Instead, the weather has been totally perfect. Rob's not free for dinner (he wants to do the Jack-in-the-Box thing. I have a hard time doing the Box thing as --never mind, I know that they all aren't like that one. but eewwww. I just can't get over it. I was worse than the ants crawling all over the salads in the salad bar at Ryans in Hammond, LA.

Since I am now in Missouri, there are no more Whatburgers. What's up with that? I do so like Whataburgers. Their iced tea doesn't taste like coffee. That can make me a fan for life. LOL

Have any of the rest of you noticed that the ice tea that many of these restaurants serve seem to taste like coffee? Now if that doesn't gross you out taste wise, think about why the tea tastes like coffee. I always see it as a not clean enough kind of thing.

When I call Rob, and find out he isn't free for dindin anyway, I decide to stop in Springfield. That way, maybe Tom will either be at home or at work when I pass through Lebanon, MO.

I like to ride through Missouri. Its a state that is green and has hills.

This afternoon, I had a heart attack when a motorhome almost moved into me while I was cruising down the road. I sped up and made contact with the driver to make sure than he knew that I was there. (Yes, it was polite contact-no fingers were flying.)

Happy trails, Marty

Tuesday March 20, 2007

I get to OKC before noon, and set myself up to look at backpacking equipment. There are three or four stores in OKC that handle overruns, etc. And there is always Backwoods. I check the phone book to see if it is still there. It is, but has changed locations.

I grab a map, and head out to find the stores.

There is a Sam's Club just down the road. I head out for a hot dog and pop.

I spend an hour or so in Backwoods. I look at a new cooking system that is better on energy, not too expensive and is well rated in the backpackers equipment guide.

Next I head to the clearance stores. There isn't anything that I really want at this time, but there is quite a bit that I might be able to use later after I pick up the trailer.

I am heading out tomorrow and looking forwards to seeing some friends. Maybe over that bottle of wine. Then maybe I can figure out where my wires became so crossed.

Other people are waiting on a call from me so I can tell them what is happening or not happening. Maybe i should look at how I am asking for this confusion to come into my life.

It's interesting about all the LOA stuff being on TV. I like the stuff that comes out of abraham better, but the LOA being all over is really strange to me. I felt like I was the only one for so very long. LOL

Happy Trails, Marty

Monday, March 19, 2007

I didn't make OKC, but I am close. I am getting in a better cruise mode, which is different than puddle jumping. LOL When one is in a cruise mode, anything is close and all rides are just that, rides, with no particular destination in mind. You have a general idea where you want to end up, but not just when.

Just when is always at the mercy of the weather, somewhat anyway.

I am enjoying the riding and am happy that things are happening the way that they are, but the weather front is going to cause me some problems. I can't move over the way that I would like. There is a line of thunderstorms ahead of me if I don't hole up for a day. I decide to move on into OKC and try to catch up on some of the business that I need to conduct.

I am always meeting some neat people on the road. There is a guy who asks to sit on my bike as he just bought one and is uncomfortable when riding it. It has a lot better set-up than mine does. My bike however, is set up to be more comfortable. I have a bag that sits on the seat that I can lean back against and it has taken me more than a couple of days to learn just where to set the bag to optimize my comfort and it's effectiveness.

The guy makes me grin. Bikers are such a diverse, interesting group of people.

I plan to head out early tomorrow to see how the weather is in OKC.

Sunday March 18, 2007

Today I took off for Laredo, planning to stay there for a few days. I almost got to Laredo when I got in contact with the man who is selling me a motorcycle trailer and decided to head up to where the trailer is located.

It feels really good to just be riding, riding, riding. I lean back, relax and decide to see just what I am made off. I end up stopping in Cotulla. I lean back and smile and run the weather. Hmm. Not great weather, but I think I can work with it.

Working with the weather while riding on a bike is a lot easier than it used to be. If you have a computer with you, you can log onto weather.com and get an hourly forcast for towns that you are planning on riding through. This can help you plan when to leave, when the weather will be the best, etc.

I find that I love to kick back and ride, just cruise along the road. You can't really let your mind wander off of the road, but you can relax and let your mind just kind of roll along while you concentrate on the road. I choose to do this.

There is a pretty neat site for women who ride their own bikes. http://www.ridemyown.com/

And off of that site I found a motorcycle forum that is for ladies who tour. I thought that it would be women who soso tour, but it seems that most tour either with other women from their motorcycle groups or, tour with their husbands. That's OK of course, but I was hoping for a couple of women who were doing some lengthy solo tours. Here's the link if you are interested. http://forums.delphiforums.com/ladycruiser/messages

tomorrow I am moving on toward Oklahoma City. I am confused about our training schedule. I have tried to call about it, but it seems that there is a huge miscommunication going on and I have no idea what it is. I smile and think about buying a bottle of wine out of respect for the other person who is way overwhelmed right now and sitting down for a few moments while I am on the way home. It's pretty much on the way, LOL.

Happy Trails, Marty

Sunday March 11, Arlington to McAllen

I can't sleep, the time change has made me nervous so I decide to get up and go down to breakfast. I was hoping for French Toast like they had yesterday, but they have the pancakes once again today. The lady told me that people like variety. I like variety with everything else, but think the pancakes look anemic. Other people like them. LOL

I go upstairs and pack up and head to the airport.

The movie playing is Casino Real or something like that. I get some headphones and let the kid sitting beside me out a few million times. ;)

The flights were pretty uneventful. During my layover in Houston, my mom calls and says that she might be a bit late picking me up as she and dad want to go to the annual choir concert held in the park. I say great, call my friend Leslie to find out just what happened in Michigan and call Jim to ask a question.

I catch my plane and get in around 4:15. It was a good trip. I slept much of the way.

It's raining cats and dogs as I wait, but has stopped by the time my parents get there. And what is the reward for me waiting? Dinner at Tony Roma's. Now that is some reward.

Afterwards, I work the puzzle for a while and then call Steve. I am hoping ot take much of tomorrow off. I think about Rob for a minute as I called him and he hadn't recontacted me as of yet.

About 9PM, I call Berta and get the chance to talk to Matt. He is so thrilled about turning 13. I tell him that if he moves to Mississippi he can drive in two years instead of three. I ask him if his mom is feeling old as this is her first child to become a teenager. He laughs and says that he is ready to move. Also, his grades are up. Only one bad grade with is a lot of improvement. He tells me that he has to learn about Ethiopia. Why couldn't it have been England? I would have changed my ininerary to go to England once again. Some of us were talking at supper last night about how hard it is to learn to shift when the shifter is on the wrong side of the road. The steering wheel and sitting on the opposite side is the easiest. The shifter being on the wrong side, now that is hard. LOL

Happy trails, Marty

Saturday, a day of meetings

Today, my day was filled with mind numbing meetings. Yesterday the day officially went from eight AM until nine PM. I had added three hours onto that. Then had to get my room broken into twice on top of it.

Somehow that made my day seem much longer, LOL. One thing good is that part of teh crunch time regarding the strategic plan is over. I like the new plan, but the time that one takes is incredible. What an experience it can be.

We had dinner and I was thrilled to be sitting by Anand. He is just so awesome and I seldom seem to have the opportunity, (or time) to get to talk with him.

Then later, I got to spend time with Suzanne, Kathryn and Harriett. Absolutely awesome.

A lot of people are flying out tonight, but I didn't have the opportunity to do that. My mom is picking me up at the airport and she goes to bed much earlier than I could have made it in.

About midnight I go to my room and start to read a manual that I wanted to check over. I am too tired to finish it all up tonight, but get quite a lot of it done.

Happy trails, Marty

Friday March 9 Arlington Virginia

The hotel that I am in is really nice. They are in the middle of a $14 mil upgrade. My room has a couple of large beds, a great kitchenette, a huge refrigerator in that kitchenette (that has ice cube trays; ice cubes in my iced tea has become a luxury since my travels have started) and a good bathroom.

I have to wake up early to get a letter out for the consumer council and have some iced tea. Then I head down to a great breakfast that is part of the room package. There are pancakes, cereal, sausage, scrambled eggs, cereals, fruit, and the opportunity to choose between toast, bagels, assorted muffins and more. The company at breakfast was great.

Happily I head back up to my room to grab my back pack to head over to the board meeting.

The door won't open. I swear a couple of times and head back downstairs and tell the front desk staff--my door won't open. When I put my room key in, both the yellow and the green lights, light up. (Now I do a lot of hotel rooms in any given year. When a door shows up yellow and green lights at the same time when you put in a room key, that means that someone has pushed or activated a privacy lock--and a new key won't do it.)

The front desk clerks say, "Oh, your key won't work, we'll give you another key." I sigh as I have been through this kind of before but head back upstairs to good old room 505 to see if by some miracle the new key will work.

It doesn't and I head back downstairs. I tell them that this key won't work either and there happens to be a maintenance guy standing there. He gets out his macho attitude and tells me that he will go up and use his master key to get me into my room. Seven minutes later, after he has put his key in and tried to manhandle the door into opening (scarey how easy it is to break into these electronic locks) he realizes that his key won't work either. Doah.

His wonderful statement was that I will have to open it from the inside. I sat down outside the door to wait. He comes back a few minutes later with what is essentially a slim jim. Now that makes me feel really secure about staying in a hotel room.

It takes Bertolo about eight minutes to successfully open my hotel room door with the slim jim. It's much less noisy to use a slim jim than to try to get the lock to work with a room key or am master key.

Bertolo tells me that he will fix the lock while I am gone during the day.

Fast forward through the meetings. Well, except for Carmen. She got a mailing out today. What awesome staff support she is.

It's 5:30, I'm back at the hotel, I have another meeting starting at 6:30. I'd like to change my clothes before that meeting. My door once again, won't work. I think about Bertolo and decide that either he didn't get back to fix my room (my hunch) or he tried to fix it and it didn't work.

I go back down to the desk and explain the problem to them and once again the desk clerks say, "Oh, your key won't work? I'll make you another key." What part of stupid desk clerks have I allowed into my presence?

Interestingly enough, a maintenance man was once again standing beside the desk. (Maybe that is why my lock won't work, the maintenance men are always standing at the front desk.)

He puts on his macho attitude and goes forth to try his master key and beat up my door. After a few minutes he calls Bertolo and Bertolo tells him that he will have to break the lock off my door. It is now 5:50 and I am trying to keep my stress level down. I sit down in the hall to wait on the maintenance man.

At 6:12 I walk downstairs and there is the maintenance man once again standing by the front desk. I go from slightly upset to irate in .02 seconds.

The maintenance guy sees me coming. He says "I am just on my way back up to your room." yeah right, does he think I was born yesterday?

We engage in the following discussion. "I don't want you to break my lock off now. I have to go to a meeting right now, it starts in about 10 minutes and I still have to get there." The desk clerks offer to loan me their restroom to change my clothes in.

Now, my stuff has been locked in my room for about nine hours. It flits through my head to scream "what %$#@*&^ clothes? I can't get to my clothes."

But instead negotiate to have the maintenance guy to open my door when I return and negotiate a ride on the hotel van to the other hotel.

I attend a three hour meeting. Then I go back.

I ask the hotel clerk if she has my new room key. She says, go up to your room, call me and I will have your new room number.

The maintenance guy comes up to my door (states to me that he hopes he doesn't wake up other people) and then unlocks the door. It only takes about twenty minutes.

I call downstairs, the desk clerk says she will have to call me back. If people would quit calling she would be glad to assign me a new room. I sit around and watch TV and wait for her to call back.

She calls back and says, " I have assigned you a new room. I have given you the room right next door to your current one. You can come down and pick up your room keys."

Why would it matter if the room is next door. I have to pick up all my stuff, take it back down to the front desk, grab my new room keys and tote it all back to a room that isn't near the elevators which might have been helpful.

I unlock the door and am in a room that hasn't been cleaned. It was disgusting.

I call the front desk and the procedure repeats. "Oh, it hasn't been cleaned. I will have to find you another room."

I turn on the TV as I know the desk clerk will take forever to change my room.

After about 10 minutes I start down to the front desk. At the door to the elevator I meet the maintenance man and he hands me the keys to a new room.

Finally I settle down. The room isn't a large or quite as nice, but I am grateful for the new room.

Happy trails, Marty

Thursday March 8

It's eight AM and I am at the airport in McAllen. This flight is seriously oversold. They start at $200. They move up to $250. It's an hour later. We load onto the plane. They are still asking for people to give up their seats.

They raise it to $300. And an upgrade to first class. Hmm. A travel voucher and I can drink my way across the country. Well, hello continental. I'm up for that. (Sue had scheduled me with a long layover, and continental agrees to make sure I make the plane connection.)

If I had the time, I could have sat here all day and collected vouchers. The next flight was overbooked even more. So were the rest of of the flights.

I end up taking a taxi from the airport to the hotel. Ohhhh, I have stayed here before. It used to be a something else. The food used to be decent, but the rooms were the pits.

I walk in to a beautifully upgraded lobby. When I get on the elevator, I laugh at the construction dust all over the floor. Up on the fifth floor things are nice, but a number of the rooms weren't yet finished.

My room has a stove top, glasses, a dishwasher, a large refrigerator, a nice table and chairs and a couple of easy chairs. It is a nice room. I head downstairs to a meeting and enjoy some dinner.

Back in my room, I enjoy the temp of my room being a tad on the cool side. My dad has MS and he is continually cold. The temp in the trailer that I share with them when I visit in Texas is somewhere between 80 and 90. I kick back and look at some TV and read the board notebook I was handed. I finish it around 2AM.

I wish I had a car so I could pick up a bottle of wine or a six pack of sam adams or two, but I don't so I satisfy myself with iced tea. I've gotta get up in the morning. I am happy about the travel voucher. I will be able to use it as I try to fly the kids to me so they can travel with me this sumer.

I think about going home to see my therapist. I need to think some stuff through. I also have the money to pay her. grin Now, if I get the train in San Antonio I can pretty much get a straight shot through to Chicago and then head on east.

Happy Trails, Marty

Wednesday March 7

Holding Space

Tuesday March 6

holding space

Monday March 5

Holding Space

Sunday March 4

Holding Space

Saturday March 3

Holding Space

Friday March 2

holding space

Thursday March 1st

For a while, I thought that I had lost a day. It really bothered me, but then I realized that I was just kind of brain dead the first day I was here. Gee, I wonder why. I remember that we went out to eat yesterday at a pancake house and I remember that mom and I went to a place called Glicks.

Glicks is an interesting place. On one side is a canvas and salvage shop and the other side is probably best described as a clearance store, but it is targeted at hunting and camping. I looked at bags and a tent and t-shirts. I really liked the t-shirts that were $2.50 each and were in designs I liked. Now how often does that happen? LOL

The tent is needed because I broke a tent pole. It didn't shatter and is working somewhat well, but the problem is--what do I do when a storm brews up and it's raining cats and dogs--and the darn pole decides to stop working then. The one thing one can't do on a bike is ride when soaked and it is a trifle chilly. I learned that in Mississippi and had the wonderful chance to relearn it once again in Houston the other night.

Ahh, Houston, another stupid learning opportunity. LOL Note to self, make sure that you put your rain gear on the first instant you notice heavy fog.

I cut a pair of pants off into shorts and try to decide what to do about the rest of my clothes. Since I am heading back n0rth before the end of March, I can't just get rid of them, but then again--I don't have a lot of room.

Yesterday and today, I decided to sit back and relax. Try to figure out what the tempest is about and just how I got annialated by it. and it is a tempest in a teapot.

People email that they want the messages to stop and well in neither situation did I start sending the messages, so I can't stop them. KWIM? What does upset me is that I am being considered spam, which I go to great lengths to not do in my regular life, so being considered spam is extremely offensive.

I am going over to Corpus Christy this weekend and am going to enjoy looking around and speaking on Monday. I am so getting out of practice and I really can't afford that.

Happy Trails, Marty

Tuesday February 27, 2007

Ok, so it's a night nasty with fog and the hotels are a tad crowded especially for a Sunday night. I stand around and think for a bit about what to do. My cash flow is Ok at this time, but not as healthy as I want it to be.

There has been an explosion of communication regarding the non-profit that I volunteer with and it gets even later as I sit in the airport for an extra hour and try to pour some oil on churning waters as I sit and try to decern just what is going right and wrong.

I get to my bike around 2AM. I don't see things getting much better. LOL.

It takes me over half an hour to pack my bike and get on the road. Two AM, the night is foggy and I decide to move on.

About an hour later, I realize just what a really bad decision that was. I smile as I think--ahh, a learning opportunity about life. I pull off and my jeans and jacket are soaking wet from the fog. The fairing and my helmet visor keep ending up drenching wet. I decide to pull over as my load needs to be adjusted and I need gas. I see a sign up ahead for hotels, but after I pull off there is no gas station. There are security guards in the hotel parking lots which means that
1. I can't really use the hotel parking lot to rearrange my load
2. The area isn't particularly safe
3. When I pull into a parking lot to turn around, I end up dumping the bike because I was stupid.

I sigh as I pull the load entirely off the bike and grin--well, I needed to reload it anyway-- and ahh, another learning opportunity about life.

It fleetingly goes through my head that I am going to wish that I had practiced finding the best way to pick up my bike. (I am often slow to move, so doing this voluntarily isn't likely.)

It takes two tries, but I find the balance point and get the bike back up. I fleetingly wonder what it would be like to pick it up if I had a set of good knees and take a couple of Ibuprofen for my bike. I glance up as I get into my backpack and realize that the security from the Holiday Inn is watching me. That can be seen as good or bad. There is a good chance that if something goes wrong the guy will at least call 911. I hope he knows the number. The bad part is that I don't really enjoy other people watching me recover from stupidity.

So, I am soaking wet, no place to change clothes, my load is on the parking lot at my feet, my actions are being watched (and probably greatly enjoyed), and I have to tear apart my duffle bag to get to my rain gear.

I don the gear, repack the load and go to move on. I find a gas station, buy a paper, read it and fall asleep on my bike until 6AM when the gas station McDonalds opens. I eat some breakfast and think about taking it as easy as I can for a six hour ride that will require a lot of breaks.

The ride from Huston to Pharr is long and boring. I end up getting to the park around 6:30 that night as I had pulled off a couple of times in rest areas to take a nap on the benches.

I unpack my bike and wait for my parents to show up. I must be the amusement for the Banana Street or at least I feel that way. I dump my stuff next to teh storage shed and as it grows later, I realize that they are probably at a dinner for hosts tutors.

I walk over to the library and sit and read a book. I call the trailer about every 15 minutes to see if they have gotten home yet. Even with the sleep, I am still tired.

Happy trails, Marty

Monday February 26, 2007

Today started out fairly well, but I didn't sleep well last night. I'm not sure why, but it seemed as if I was up and down all night. Usually when I can't sleep well and I am at home, I put on a movie that I know really well to try to help my mind become occupied in a different way. There aren't any movies on here that will do that.

I end up getting up fairly early and surfing the Internet for fun. I try to decide what to do tonight. There really isn't a great decision as I see it right now. I think a lot about my bike and whether it is OK.

I envision me flying down the road. After all, that is why I own a bike. The freedom of flying down a road.

I see Rob for a couple of minutes at breakfast, drink some tea and at noon I get a call wanting to know when I am going to vacate my room. So much for the clerk putting down that I wanted a late check-out, but they really were great about it when I told them that I would be out on the dot of two.

At two, I get over to the airport and sit there for another three hours. This time the plane loads. I was a little uptight as many of the flights for Philly weren't flying on time.

I sit on the plane and find a place to surf the Internet at the Charlotte airport. Then we fly on into Houston. It is well after midnight when I get my luggage and decide to repack and move on tonight. I want to go on over to Galveston, but find out hat the park is full. I don't know where to find the parks near Huston in the dark and the night is nasty with fog. Really nasty with fog.

Happy Trails, Marty

Sunday February 24, 2007

Well, my day started out with my friend Rob making hotel arrangements because he can't fly out today due to the ice storm. Jim checked on my flight and it was on time.

The training ended pretty well, right around noon. We gave out the certificates and enjoyed the people. They held up cell phones to honor the water under Kathy, grin. They soaped Tracey's windows. The soaped Chichi's windows.

There was a bit of an ugly surprise of a boxed lunch. I am not saying that the boxed lunch wasn't good, it was. I just wasn't ready and it will be around 11 at night before I can possibly get back to Houston. Then finding a 24 hour restaurant in a town I don't know well, could easily prove to be a problem.

We finish taking things down and head back to Hartford so they can drop me off at the airport. I gather up my stuff, get my ticket and head on down to the gate watching the mile long line at the United Counter as people get to the airport and then find out that they are going nowhere fast, tomorrow is probably already booked by people who found out earlier.

It makes me nervous as I wait for my USAIRLINES flight. Flights are being cancelled all around me. It's pretty ugly, but as of now my plane is slated in an on-time slot. I know that miracles happen and all that tommyrot, but there actually isn't a lot of chance that I will be able to make it out of the transfer point, but can't reschedule until they cancel my flight.

So I sit in the airport and wait for hours and hours.

Up until 30 minutes before my flight, they were saying it was on-time; then they said there would be a 45 minute delay, which switched to an over 3 hour delay which meant that everyone would miss their connections, except--I had a flight with a stopover. Is that a connection or not> I have to ask and therefore ended up in the end of the line when I had to be rescheduled. I didn't want to be rescheduled, (it's that hours in line after waiting hours at the airport, thing) but have to make do.

I call Rob and ask if I can bunk on his couch. He says yes, but calls Katheryn and she gets me a room at the hotel Rob is staying at. Rob asks if I want to go to dinner and suggests Ruby Tuesdays. I am still in line and we chat about how we could kill for some good beef. Rob and I are both from the mid-west and being in a retreat center that served chicken and fish was hard on both of us. The retreat center did serve some pork, but well-- I wasn't sure---well, you know what I mean. It was a great retreat center, the chicken and fish were outstanding.

When I get to the hotel, I must have looked bad. grin I got upgraded and got a late checkout. Both of which I needed. Rob and I talked until midnight. He's such a great guy to talk with. He is funny, enjoyable and interesting, just an awesome guy to be with.

I made a pot or two or three of iced tea, sit back and enjoy the time. The rooms at the retreat center and at the Homewood Inn and Suites were great, especially compared to my tent. LOL

Happy trails, marty

Saturday February 23, 2007

The place here is really great. The training is going well.

My cell phone is operating on an extended network setting which means that I pay extra for every minute and my Verizon Wireless Card is operable, but intermittent at times. I have to periodically hang up and then dial back in. And posting to the blog is fairly impossible so this will end up happening later than I like it to. Playing catchup when one is trying to make a daily blog is a bear.

I keep thinking about how it seems as if most of Texas is angry at/with me. It's frustrating as I don't really have the connections I need, but have hope that on March 5, I will be able to meet someone who can get some of them to me. I know that it is a misunderstanding, but can't figure out how to fix it.

And after I fix it, will I be able to recover from it? Maybe, maybe not. As I am tired, frustrated and discouraged, I think that I might head on down to Pharr and try to figure out how I can best recover. I can always go to Corpus as it is under 200 miles away. That's just a short toodle.

I really need to hit a church that is compatible with what I believe. In Mississippi there were none near me and in Louisiana, I didn't have the money or way to travel until I had replaced some of the parts I ended up missing. It's hard to have that spiritual side of me run down. It doesn't usually happen, but it has been a long time.

I am thrilled to be here with everyone, that does help, but I miss having like minded people around that I can discuss why things are going wrong at this time. There is a church in Pharr, and one in Corpus that might meet my needs. I so hate feeing needy. I am going to have to purchase the books again to help me move along in the way that I need to. I don't have access to enough of the tools that I need to maintain on my own.

Anyone else here want to play "Wouldn't it be nice......? Being lonesome in a crowd is strange. LOL

Happy Trails, Marty

Friday February 22

Ok, it's 6 AM and I am up and in the shower. The fog doesn't seem to be lifting, but I really don't do cold water on any given morning. I get up and start to unpack. I realize that I should have done that last night as my bag must have sat out in the open on the tarmac somewhere as my bag is totally soaked along with about 4 inches of wet clothes.

I spread the wet clothes around the room and put the clothes on that I wore yesterday. At least I have my toothbrush and toothpaste. Steve's suitcase went missing yesterday and he doesn't have much at all. I hope the breakfast is going to be good.

Wow, it was. Eggs and sausage. Potatoes, fruit, smoothies, juices, etc. How awesome is that? What a change from yesterday mornings toast breakfast.

We start to set up and I start to get nervous. I love to train, but this is not a training that I have done a lot and I love to nail trainings with no mistakes or problems. My part of the trainings, not anyone elses. Each and every training, I plan on going in, being at my best, being what trainees need me to be that will help them relax and learn, etc. I know that this one will be a great training, my intuition tells me so (as Rob about that intuition think I try to use, more about it on Sunday) but I am still nervous as I haven't turned one of this type of training that is up to my normal standards yet.

Steve and I are paired up for training groups and then we break down still farther into smaller groups for practice.

Things go well and my group is absolutely full of the most awesome people that I could ever hope to meet. We have a lot of fun with the role playing and take our time as I beat them up making them run a group for the first three exercises instead of just letting them do the part of the exercise they are supposed to be practicing on. It means that others finish ahead of me, but the importance of sticking to the agenda and focusing on the priniciples can't be stressed enough, at least in my book.

I am really enjoying this training. It is going well.

I keep hearing about this Kathy Flaherty. What's up with that? She must really walk on water. Or two inches above it. grin

Happy trails, Marty

Thursday February 22

I got up early, (not early enough, never early enough as I only love to sleep in the mornings. LOL).

I pack things up and pray that I won't dump my bike on my way over to "The Parking Spot" which is a covered parking strucure. This meant that I wouldn't need to go find a room to rent to store my bike in, but it also meant that I would need to get a move on because the bus would be there shortly after I parked.

So about 7:30 I go out to my bike with everything except my shaving cream, some shampoo and well, you get the picture. I want to shower after I load up my bike.

After I get everything loaded up, I run back inside--ready to take the shortest shower on record when I realize that the clerk/owner has checked me out of my room. And I can't find them. Immediately I become enraged. The night was crappy enough, no internet access, no refrigerator, no working remote in the room (actually this seems to happen to me a lot, maybe there's a message) . When I finally run down the clerk, I realize that if I say much, I will be late for the plane and I have to take luggage.

After I get to the parking spot, I finally calm down and start to relax. My bike is safe, I am safe, the plane is safe (what is the crash rate for US Air, anyway--I didn't look it up) and in a few hours I will get to meet some of my other friends who are trainers. They are a great group of people, Kathryn, Jim, Rob and Steve. It's a great balance of personalities.

I was told to hold a number of weekends, and hope that I will get to do more, but this situation has made me a little anxious as there was no intinerary and no mention of where we are to stay. I hope the place is a great place and that the weather holds as I don't travel with a winter coat.

Right after I pick up my luggage, I see Steve and give him a hug. It is so good to see him. Next I see Rob and try to draw his attention, but he is ignoring me. It fleetingly runs through my mind that he is probably trying to do that, but I think it through and laugh. When he turns around, I manage to grab his attention and tease him some.

Jim and Kathryn pick us up at the airport and we get to fully enjoy the country scenes. The scenery is truly gorgeous, (what we can see of it after dark) and the light snow fallling makes the world look clean and fresh.

We make it up to West Cornwall and then decide to slide back down the last hill. We try again and slide again. Hmm, do we call AAA or the Retreat Center that we are going to? Someone smarter than I makes the decision to call the Retreat Center and here come a couple of people. One I later find out is a waiter and the other is identified by his white coat as the cook. Talk about multi-tasking. grin

As we check in they mention that the dining room is now closed but they made us up some plates. We go, find our rooms and return back to the dining area. There is a key to the bar for which I am grateful. We chat about this and that, then go to turn in as we want to get up and meet early in the morning.

Well, maybe we don't want to do so, but we were late getting in and don't want to deal with it anymore tonight. I keep hearing about this kathy Flaherty person. Wow, she must walk on water or something.

There are a few others there but not too many. Some haven't been able to make it in due to the snow and some are coming in the morning.

I go up to my room and crash as nothing feels comfortable to me or feels that it is going right.

Happy trails, Marty

Leaving for Connecticut Training

Wednesday February 21, 2007

I kind of regret having to leave Galveston today, although I am excited about being able to help facilitate a recovery support group training.

Today I am slowly packing up my campsite. People always watch to see just how I manage to pile up the stuff onto my motorcycle. I really, really need to get a trailer. It would make me feel a bit less like an oddity.

It is right around noon when I finish packing. I take the time to be on a conference call before I leave. While I am talking on the phone, I put my hand into my pocket, pull it out and realize that my mother’s ring has slipped off of my finger. I look and look, but never find it. It means a lot. I am not sure where it is hiding in the grass, but I don’t see it.

I look at some coupons for hotel rooms in Houston, but can’t find any that I like where I think I am going to park so I am making sure to go in early.

I cruise around and find a parking spot parking area. I have used them in the past and had good luck. I decide to leave my bike in one. Then I start to look for a hotel room. I find nothing that I like that I can afford, but need to stay in one as I am not ready to part with my bike. I need to re-pack. My computer usually travels in my large duffle bag to keep weight load down low. Before I can hop on a plane, I have to make the big bag lighter and the backpack which usually travels on top as it is very light, loaded with stuff like my rain gear, heavy with my computer.

The place I decided to use was a budget hotel that really sucks. There is no promised refrigerator. There is no wireless internet as promised. The rooms are new, but the two promised amenities that aren’t suck. I think about leaving, but realize that I would have to repack my bike. I regretfully decide to stay due to the location and the hassle, but decide to complain about the hotel. (both in the blog and to the corporation.) ;)

I can’t sleep as I am nervous about the upcoming training. I am going with a group of people who are absolutely awesome. These are people who I dream of being able to spend more time with and enjoy more on a regular basis. My heroes, (everybody grab their cell phones and wave them in the air. Grin)

I ride over to Sonic and after I place my order and receive it, remember-- . Oh, yeah, I remember now, I hate the buns on the Sonic. I eat it anyway as breakfast was a long time ago, pick up some gas, go back to the hotel and log in some expenses. Sometime after 4, I fall asleep.

I am both nervous and excited with no surf. Sigh.

Happy trails, Marty

Tuesday February 20

Tuesday February 20, 2007

It is so unbelievably relaxing to lay down to sleep at night and to be able to relax with the sound of the surf in my ears. In the past, I tried listening to CDs that had the sound of the surf in the background. They didn’t work for me at all. It sounded like a CD or Cassette playing the surf. This is so different to me. I am not sure if it is/was the quality of the sound or if it is/was the massive difference in atmosphere.

When I was at home and trying to listen, there were all the cares of the world there. When I am here, although I am being followed by the council cares, it is still easier to put them aside for a while. I am also trying to follow some of the dreams of my heart. That could be the difference.

Today I got up long enough to watch the surf at dawn and allowed myself to be lulled back to sleep as I listened to the surf. That is so relaxing. My quality of rest is amazingly high when I allow that to happen. I feel truly rested and less stressed.

I went back into Galveston today. I checked my bank account and it said that my check had been deposited. I decide to try a Golden Corral to eat a salad and see what they are all about. I decide that although the food is good, they are merely another place where I can go and pay to eat in an unhealthy manner. I still have many of my old food addictions hanging on. The overeating when the food is available or eating foods that are unhealthy because when I order there are things that I don’t really expect put in front of me is still continuing.

Today I went cruised around the downtown area. It is a neat area that I need to come back and visit. It feeds my soul.

There are some pics that I will post of the downtown area.

There is a used bookstore in town that I won’t have time to visit. I love used bookstores. It might explain why there aren’t many used books at the GoodWill. I was looking for a helmet and to see if there was some bike stuff, but things weren’t working out well. There was nothing there I could have used.

I cruise into the WalMart and look at things like compression bags, a helmet and chain lube. The compression bags that I am looking at are water resistant. They will really help in packing. I grab them up. Then I go look at a helmet. The full face helmet that I have is way too hot to use when the temp is over 80* as it is today. I look for gloves that have gel padding and a few other things.

I am thinking about things like how to pack better, how to figure out a way to support my bags better, if the next move needs to be a trailer, etc.

Then when I go to checkout, even though my bank account says I have money, the amount won’t clear. I hate it when that happens. I realize that the bank only cleared part of the amount, but that the whole amount showed up. My heart sinks into my boots. I immediately try to decide just how to handle coming back tomorrow, getting the stuff, and wondering if it would be restocked in the same place.

Then I start to think about the stuff I read in the book while I was in Hammond and decide to take some time to look at a budget and to try to figure out which end was up and how my finances might need to be looked at if I want to stop operating as hand to mouth as I am doing.

My thinking starts to shift from getting spending to look at what I am doing. That is really a large shift for me. I am not sure if it will last, but it is a huge shift. Change comes in stages and as I look more at the situation, I realize that any change is better than none.

When I go back to the tent, I plug in and start to figure out a spending plan. After I do it, I realize there are a lot of parts that I left out and that the spending plan won’t work, but the huge drive to spend money indiscriminately without really looking at where it is going or if there will be enough for later is gone, at least for now. It may possibly be gone for good, but the level of struggle has shifted, which is great progress.

Thinking stuff through has kept me up through midnight. Tomorrow I have to go into Houston to find a place to store my bike while I go to Connecticut. I am thrilled to be able to help roll out the recovery support group training. I do see the dream of having one available on every corner.