Adventures

I have been thinking a lot about life and adventures. I like having my life be an adventure or filled with adventure. Gretchen's right, I am so not a minivan person.

Being here makes me think about having life be an adventure.

I used to be on the outside of life. I would stand around and watch life happen. I would let it happen to me or around me and never enter into life or embrace life.

When I came to Texas this time, I started to try to view my relationship with my parents in a slightly different way. Instead of just having been born to them and all the baggage that seems to bring, decided to look at it from the direction that Louise Hay looks at it, that I chose my parents for what they could teach me.

It has caused a radical shift in our relationship for me. And once I have changed, the relationship has changed. It is better for me now. And it causes me to notice many things.

My parents often have life pass them by. Like they are not always involved or able to be involved. I watch people now, not just to watch life, but to see behaviours that I want to acquire or want to migrate more towards. It's very different for me.

My behaviours, watching life happen in many ways seem to come from my parents. And yet, I remember them being more fully involved than they are now, but then again, much of the involvement that I saw came from watching them in relation to my aunts, uncles and cousins. That is not the same thing.

They have friends from high school, which I don't have. They have friends from college or the army, which I don't have. Most of my friends have been acquired lately. I don't have friends from teh early years of my life.

At the same time, as I truly know, appearances can be deceiving. I have accomplished quite a few things, but I didn't feel a part of things. I still felt like I was watching from the outside, a little kid looking through the window of a candy store, or feeling that I wasn't engaged, that it wasn't really me.

Today, I sat in the sun and worked on my tan.

But it's time. It's time to pick up the mantle of leadership and be strong. Always an adventure. LOL

It's also time for my life to become an adventure again. I am planning a perimeter ride later this year. Hey, I gotta do what I gotta do. I'm going to meet people, find a riding partner and go for my dreams.

Happy trails,

Marty